Parenting Tips And Advices



             


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Parenting Your Employees to Better Performance

Copyright 2005 Inez Ng

Have you ever worked for someone who was such a micro-manager that it drove you crazy? And have you ever worked for someone who was so hands-off that you felt like a lone warrior on the battlefield? These are examples of you working for leaders who did not adapt their style based on the employees needs. I would venture to guess that you were not entirely motivated to put out your very best effort every time when you were feeling such frustrations.

What can you, as a manager, do to prevent the same mistake? My suggestion is to follow what good parents do.

Good parents instinctively know how they need to manage their children. But we sometimes dont make the same connection when we are at work. Lets think about the different stages of a childs development.

The Toddler
At this stage, there is so much they dont know. They are just learning the basics of how to walk, and run, and talk, and play with others. The parents are generally right there at almost every moment. They are very involved in the childs development.

They set boundaries for the child: dont go near the stove, its hot!
They give very directive instructions: Put the toy truck back into the basket.
They give frequent feedback and encouragement: Thats right, this is a blue ball. Now pick out the red one. Thats great!

When you have an employee that is at the toddler stage in terms of job skills and proficiencies, you need to adopt the hands-on parenting style of leadership. First determine what they know and dont know. Set boundaries for them so they dont get into big trouble. Be very directive in what you want done, and provide them feedback and encouragement so they know whether they are progressing and satisfying your expectations or not.

The Teenager
At this stage, the child wants more independence, and prefers to figure things out for himself. But the parents know that they still need to provide supervision. And they also give the child more space to experiment and build confidence.

When your employees are at the teenager stage, they often think they know more then they actually do. Surely you were never guilty of this when you were a teenager, right? So, you still need to be around enough to keep them out of trouble. Instead of checking in with them every day, you can now check in with them every week on their progress.

Your requests can be less directive, and more objective defined (Id like you to clean up your room this weekend.) Instead of offering information and directions with every assignment, you can now wait for your employee to approach you with questions.

When your employees see they you have eased off your level of supervision, they know that you are feeling more comfortable with their ability to perform, and their confidence grows. But always remember to continue to give feedback and acknowledgement for their efforts.

The Young Adult
Now your employees are almost independent. Like a good parent, you have provided them all the skills and knowledge to make it on their own. At this point, you can ease off even more on giving directions and checking up on progress. Instead, you want to help them grow as contributors to your organization.

Now when you hand over an assignment, you can give the most crucial details and leave them to figure out the approach. You let them know that when they come to you with problems and questions, you would like to see their recommendations or solutions.

At this stage, your responsibility as a parent is quite light. But you must continue to give feedback and acknowledgement so your employees stay motivated to excel. They need to know that you have noticed their development and appreciate their efforts.

The Adult
Now you are on easy street. Your child has moved out of the house, and is successful and productive. At this point, your role as parent is to show love and appreciation of the person they have become (thanks to your hard work), and to offer them opportunities for growth.

Your expectation of these employees is that they can pretty much operate without you. You provide them with the vision of where you are going and they immediately rally the troops and make a plan and start marching down the road.

When these employees encounter a problem, you expect them to come to you with a list of alternatives, the recommendation they want to choose, and just ask for your concurrence. They come prepared with all the critical information you need to make a sound decision. You can ask these employees to be mentors to your toddlers or teenagers and take some of the responsibilities from you. You continue to provide them feedback and acknowledgement so they know they are still on the right track.

Now take a look at your team, and make an assessment of what stage of development each of your employee is at present. Adopt the appropriate parenting/leadership style that is needed and your employee will respond. Most employees want to do a good job for you, so set your expectations clearly and watch them perform.

Are your business results suffering due to an ineffective leadership team? Find out what coaching with Inez Ng can do for your leadership team at http://www.Realizationsunltd.comWantto know about saving time handling emails? Check out her ebook at http://easyemailstrategies.com

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Friday, January 16, 2009

First Time Parenting Woes

Whether you are 24 or 34, parenting is hard work. Has anyone ever said this to you before? Have you ever thought to yourself how hard can it possibly be to change diapers and feed someone? Well, as a new mom to a seven month old I am here to tell you that first time parenting is more than hard work it is endless, thankless, sometimes emotionally and physically draining work. While you love and cherish the beautiful little child your love created, you ask yourself 'what have we done?' You might even wish you could just escape for a day or a week to your previous life, but you can't. As a parent you are committed for the rest of your life to love, nurture and care for that new life you have brought into the world. It is a bit overwhelming for anyone who has been there or is going through it. Anyone who has not, needs to know that it is not for everyone.

You must be prepared to give up your life...your hobbies, your wants and needs at times. All the things that you once found solace or comfort in are no longer yours. Your life will evolve around the new baby, his needs, his wants, and his desires. If you are fortunate enough to have family nearby to help out you might have time for some of the things you once enjoyed. Or if you happen to have a great babysitter around when you need a break or if you work outside the home you might find some relief from the day to day life of a parent, but if you are a stay at home parent your life is theirs. You may plan to get some housework done, read a book or write a story or watch your favorite T.V. show or movie, but as soon as you start it is almost inevitable... your baby will soon beckon you with a whaling scream or whimper until you come to change, feed or hold him. There is no escape for a stay-at -home parent. Where you go, your child is day and night. You want to love him and nurture him and care for him with all you have, but somedays you are so emotionally and physically drained that you start to resent him.

First time parenting is a joyous occasion but it is not one to jump into. You should be in a stable and committed relationship. Your partner should be willing to support and help you at the end of the day. If you are young and considering parenting it is a good idea to wait until you have had a chance to really live and enjoy your life. Get your degree, travel do whatever it is that your heart desires because once the baby arrives your life will change forever and will no longer be your own.

 Patricia Garza is a former elementary teacher turned stay at home mom. She is married to a wonderful husband and living in Tucson, AZ with her baby boy and fifteen-year-old cat. Patricia is an aspiring freelance writer, specializing in parenting and educational issues, as well as children's stories, personal essays and poetry. You may contact her at mrspgarza@hotmail.com or visit her website e-zine at http://littlebytesnews.com

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